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Strange Things Continue to Happen in the Alps
by Urs Ruefli, Alpine Alien Agency, Lausanne
We knew it from the start. Now we have proof. Kind of. Almost. We can track by now 12 events that have two things in common. They all are related to pigs and pork. And they all happen in a line between Munich and Vaduz. What do we want to indicate with that? Well, there is only one logical conclusion: Aliens that hate pigs. As a regular reader of our publications, you might recall that we had somewhat similar conclusions last year when it was hot and sunny for 3 months straight. We might have been wrong then when we assigned that to alien activities. But we are right this time. There is no doubt left in our small heads. Let us simply list further facts.
August 2007: Altogether, 14 pigs (small and medium sized) disappeared just in the Alps. That confirmed number might be just the tip of the iceberg. We estimate that as many as 317 pigs might be missing.
But now we have more evidence. We spoke to the owner of a mountain cabin near Griesalp. He reported that a number of human-shaped beings spend the night in his cabin. That alone might not be so suspicious, he said. But he noticed some strange behaviour. The beings did never speak, neither to him nor to each other. They always walked in a line, even to the toilette, led by a fearless leader, marked by some red raincoat. They never smiled. Not even when he offered his best joke. He was not sure that they breathed. At least he could not confirm that they breathed all the time. But now the most interesting part of his story. They sat down at the table and made clear by their glances that they expected him to feed them. That alone might not be so suspicious, but they declined five plates that he put in front of them. Only when he offered them some pork, they accepted. He stated that he often has guests that love to eat two plates full with his pork, as it is one of his specialities. But he could not remember that any of his guests ever ate 14 plates full with pork. I trust he would remember that, wouldn't you? After the dinner, they went to the sleeping place. The next morning, when he woke up, they were gone. As well as all his remaining pork. He said he didn't mind, because they left a lot of money. But he had to disappoint the party that was arriving the same day and that had ordered all the pork in advance. It was a party of 19 strong men. Imagine that. I will start more field explorations as of tomorrow.
