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Strange Things in the Alps: You heard it first here!
by Urs Ruefli, Alpine Alien Agency, Lausanne
I knew that it would not stay unnoticed for long. Today, some major newspapers were reporting about the strange things in the Alps. Let me summarize.
The Sueddeutsche Zeitung reported in a long article about the significant number of pig-related incidents. They listed even a few more that I was not aware of. But they had a wrong theory. They suspect that this is another wild bear. You might remember last year's drama related to Bruno the bear. Due to a lack of imagination and diligence, they simply assume that this is another bear. But I know better.
Then there was a report in the Abendzeitung. Obviously, they picked up the Sueddeutsche story, because they also assigned the events to a wild bear. They even quoted a person who stated that he thought he had seen a bear with a pig under his arm. What poor journalism is that?
And I just know got today's copy of BILD Zeitung. It is the headline: SAVE PORKIE!
It is depressing, isn't it? But I will reveal the truth.
