by Urs Ruefli, Alpine Alien Agency, Lausanne
Things are escalating. All major papers started with report series about Porkie. Some describe him as a danger. Some describe him as an evil force. Some have pity with him. Most were wrong. They assumed that he is a bear, killing all the pigs. But now they are coming around and recognize that this is not an animal. The behaviour is too consistent.
Some experts analyzed the path based on the casualties. The general opinion is that it is pointing towards Portugal. They have identified a huge pig farm in the North Portugal as the most probable target of Porkie. A Portuguese army general was quoted with the words: "We will protect our national pigs at any cost. This Porkie might be able to kill hundreds of Austrian pigs. But he will not get a single one from us." Of course he is wrong. At least in that the pigs were mostly Bavarian and not Austrian. But who can stop Porkie and his fearless leader in red?
But I am not convinced that Portugal is really the target. If aliens want to attack Portugal, they have better options than to start in Bavaria. For instance, they could start in Spain. Logical, isn't it? Logic is the base of all outstanding journalism. There has to be some meaning to all of this. And I will find out. I will speak to the experts.
